WordPressery!

Today is the day that I’m finally on WordPress and free from the tyrannous shackles of Blogger’s incompetence. Took me long enough. I think the first thing Bloggers learn about blogging (apart from how much money isn’t in it), is that they should have never signed up with Blogger to begin with, which is always followed by their second revelation: that switching platforms mid-blog is a sharp and terrible pain in the proverbial tuchas. Eventually, the third thing they learn is that, regardless of how painful and tedious the conversion process is, staying with Blogger hurts even more – and it keeps coming back for seconds.Now that I’ve embraced WordPress as not only a terrific blogging platform, I’ve also registered coqdiddles.com, which you may have noticed up there in your address bar. I might register a few other domains in time, but don’t worry. Those of you who are too lazy or technically inept to change your bookmarks, I’ve taken care of that, as well. Through some mysterious and mystical voodoo, I’ve managed to set up automatic redirects from all of my old posts. This means that you can keep going to my old blogspot address for as long as we both shall live, and you’ll still end up where you’re supposed to be. Ain’t I a peach?

There are a couple of other new things to take a gander at. First, you probably noticed the big stinkin’ features box up at the top of the page. Right now, it’s displaying some of my most popular entries, and I’ll be cycling through the featured posts in the weeks and months to come. I’ve also added a couple of spiffy icons to the sidebar: the one with the guy reading the funky paper on the can is my RSS feed, while the cute little birdie flittering beside him links to my Twitter page. It’s all pretty self-explanatory and simple, but feel free to shoot me an e-mail to gripe and complain, or send donations. Did I mention the indecent and staggering amount of money one doesn’t make by blogging? At the very least, you could work up the strength to click an ad now and again, but I’m not holding my breath.

I’ve been working hard during the conversion process, so this short entry is all you’re getting for today. I still have a lot of work to do with assigning thumbnails to each entry and categorizing all 262 of the little verbose bastards. Right now, everything is up and running, all of my old posts are here and still ribbed for the sensual pleasure of your looking balls to slide over, and most of my old tags are floating around in the Tag Cloud over on the right. If you click a category at the top right now, you’re not very likely to be supplied with an overabundance of relative essays, so for the time being, stick to the cloud. It will serve you better in the interim, and it never complains that you’re doing it wrong.

I’ll be back Thursday with a full entry, which will mark my full and complete abandonment of the Blogger/Blogspot platform. Good riddance, I say. If you only knew how many scheduled posts I ended up having to publish manually, or how many times Blogger decided to spontaneously eat one or more of my entries, you’d probably be more impressed with how much nicer WordPress is. If you’re not impressed, then consider yourself dead inside, because joy will never find its way into the wet and sticky chambers of your miserable black hearts.

And now, just a wee bit after 2:45am has come around to crush and flatten my dreams of not waking up exhausted in the morning, I take my leave of you. See you Thursday, kids!

Want some books? 'Course ya do!

NOTE:  I know times are hard and yeah, I need to make a living too, but if you want to read any of my books but can't afford to buy them right now, hit me up.

I'll take care of it.

Humor | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

Have you ever lived through an experience that was so humiliating that you wanted to die, but when you tell it to all your friends, they can't stop laughing?

Have you ever made a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time, but you're still living with the hilarious consequences years later?

If so, then grab a snack, get comfortable, and prepare to have all of your own poor life choices seem just a little bit more bearable.

You're welcome.

Short Stories
Available now from the following retailers

The nine stories of rage and sadness collected here range from the most intimate of human experiences to the wildest realms of magic and fantasy. The first story is a violent gut-punch to the soul, and the rest of them just hit harder from there.

Those who tough it out will find a book filled with as much hope as despair, a constant contradiction pulling you from one extreme to another.

Life might knock us down, over and over, and will the beat the ever-loving snot out of us from the time we're old enough to give it attitude until the day we finally let it win and stop getting up.

Always get back up.

Gaming | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

This isn't just a book. It's a portal to other worlds where there be magic and dragons and hilarious pirates. Okay, not really. But this book is about those portals, except they're called video games.

The Life Bytes series of books take a deep dive into one man's personal journey through childhood into kinda/sorta being a responsible, competent adult as told through the magical lens of whatever video games he was playing at the time.

Part One starts way back in 1975 and meanders down various digital pathways until, oh, around about 1993 or so.

If you're feeling nostalgic for the early days of gaming or if you just want to understand why the gamer in your life loves this hobby so much, take a seat in your favorite comfy chair and crack this bad boy open.

I'll try to not be boring.

Horror
Available now from the following retailers

What you are about to read is not a story. There is no beginning, middle, or end.

What follows is nothing more than a series of journal entries involving shadow people, sleep paralysis, and crippling fear. It’s not pretty, it doesn’t follow story logic, and nothing works out well in the end.

You've been warned.