Dolla Dolla Bills, Y’all

• Do you like this site?
• Have you ever enjoyed reading anything here?
• Did you ever find anything helpful, informative, or even just funny?

Then now’s the time to pledge your support and not get a free tote bag or whatever PBS is shilling these days. I don’t even have any cool interns to man the phone banks I also don’t have, so don’t expect any of that business, either.

PROGRESS TO GOAL: 100%
[wppb progress=100]

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Thanks to everyone who validated my efforts by contributing toward funding my site for another year. It means a lot to me, and you shall be rewarded!

What? Now? No. Come back in a few days. I didn’t actually expect there to be enough people who gave a damn about my words, so I never really thought we’d hit the goal.

But a surprise is coming! Just check back later this weekend. Maybe tomorrow night, maybe Saturday. It depends on FACTORS.

And thanks again! You guys rock.

(You can still send me money, if you really want to. My metaphorical door is always open far enough to slip a few bills in the crack.)

What I do have is the yearly renewal on my hosting plan coming up, with nothing budgeted to pay for it. I recently started a new job, which required a small move, which required fighting a ridiculous custody battle that I can’t even describe, which depleted any savings we had, etc…

Things are fine now, financially and in every other way. We’re back on our feet and things are turning around; I can pay our bills and our lawyer (because that particular nightmare isn’t over yet), I can put food on the table and a nice new roof over our heads. I could probably even pay to renew my hosting plan, if I really wanted to. But that’s money that could be better spent on Trey, so that’s where I want to spend it.

So, that being said, what am I going to do with Coquetting Tarradiddles? Well, that’s entirely up to you.

To renew my server hosting at its current level (which is pretty necessary, unless you want the site crashing every time I get a traffic spike, or whenever some jellyheaded script kiddie tries to hack my Gibson), it’ll cost me $250 clams. That I don’t want to spend anymore.

I don’t run ads here, because I think they’re annoying. I get no revenue from this site whatsoever, so it’s all just expense. Back when I was helping fight the good fight to fix the local school district in Beaumont, Texas, I hosted gigabytes of data for the community to access – and none of it came free. Or even cheap. But I could help, so I did help. Or tried to, anyway.

I’ve written a lot of stuff about a lot of different things. Some of what I’ve written (such as my posts on Depression) have had a significant impact on the lives of a surprising number of people, which is why I wrote them. I’ve helped people, and they’ve helped me. I’ve tried to entertain you guys with silly posts, goofy jokes, and even a few short stories (the most successful of which ended with a pathetic SWATTING attempt by just a really super cool dude, so that was fun).

What I’m getting at here is this: I’ve been writing and paying to host this site for a little over 8 years now, and I’ve always done it for free. And I want to keep doing it for free, but I just don’t feel like paying to do it for free anymore.

Which is where you come in.

I need to raise $250 by the 15th, or Coquetting Tarradiddles will cease to coquette or tarradiddle. Forever.

So, I ask you again:

• Do you like this site?
• Have you ever enjoyed reading anything here?
• Did you ever find anything helpful, informative, or even just funny?

If the answer to any of those questions is yes – and if you want this site to continue – then head over here and toss me a couple of pennies to pay for the hosting renewal.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT CHARITY.

This is for nothing more or less than paying the minimal cost to keep Coquetting Tarradiddles alive and running for another year. If that’s something you want to see happen, then contribute what you can. If it’s not, then don’t. Simple, really.

I might come back later and add some kind of progress bar or something, to indicate how close to (or far, far away from) we are to the $250 goal.

PROGRESS TO GOAL: 100%
[wppb progress=100]

Once (if) we hit it, I’ll update this page and tell people to stop sending me money unless they just really, really want to because they’re crazy and rich and wipe their gold-plated butts with $100 bills or whatever. Like I said, this isn’t charity. I’m not asking for a handout, or for any money to do anything other than keep this site alive. I considered setting up Patreon, but this isn’t a regular thing. I don’t need you to pay me to write. I’ll do that for free; I just don’t want to pay for the privilege. Besides, I don’t have nearly enough hipster facial hair for patrons.

I’ve paid the tab here for 8 years now. If you want me to keep going, it’s your turn.

I’ll probably come up with some kind of thank you to send to anyone who contributes, although I have no idea what that will be yet. I might put up a poll, and you can just tell me what you want. A new short story? An insightful commentary on the dichotomy of good and evil? A ten page report of the efficacy of fart jokes? The possibilities are endless.

The point is, you’ll get something for giving anything. I just don’t know what that is yet.

All the cool kids are doing it. Don’t you want to be cool, too?

Want some books? 'Course ya do!

NOTE:  I know times are hard and yeah, I need to make a living too, but if you want to read any of my books but can't afford to buy them right now, hit me up.

I'll take care of it.

Humor | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

Have you ever lived through an experience that was so humiliating that you wanted to die, but when you tell it to all your friends, they can't stop laughing?

Have you ever made a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time, but you're still living with the hilarious consequences years later?

If so, then grab a snack, get comfortable, and prepare to have all of your own poor life choices seem just a little bit more bearable.

You're welcome.

Short Stories
Available now from the following retailers

The nine stories of rage and sadness collected here range from the most intimate of human experiences to the wildest realms of magic and fantasy. The first story is a violent gut-punch to the soul, and the rest of them just hit harder from there.

Those who tough it out will find a book filled with as much hope as despair, a constant contradiction pulling you from one extreme to another.

Life might knock us down, over and over, and will the beat the ever-loving snot out of us from the time we're old enough to give it attitude until the day we finally let it win and stop getting up.

Always get back up.

Gaming | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

This isn't just a book. It's a portal to other worlds where there be magic and dragons and hilarious pirates. Okay, not really. But this book is about those portals, except they're called video games.

The Life Bytes series of books take a deep dive into one man's personal journey through childhood into kinda/sorta being a responsible, competent adult as told through the magical lens of whatever video games he was playing at the time.

Part One starts way back in 1975 and meanders down various digital pathways until, oh, around about 1993 or so.

If you're feeling nostalgic for the early days of gaming or if you just want to understand why the gamer in your life loves this hobby so much, take a seat in your favorite comfy chair and crack this bad boy open.

I'll try to not be boring.

Horror
Available now from the following retailers

What you are about to read is not a story. There is no beginning, middle, or end.

What follows is nothing more than a series of journal entries involving shadow people, sleep paralysis, and crippling fear. It’s not pretty, it doesn’t follow story logic, and nothing works out well in the end.

You've been warned.