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It’s not easy being a Texan when the rest of the civilized world ranks your state’s politics somewhere between corporate prostitution and eating babies, but it’s home. And I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, though. The area of the Lone Star State in which I unhappily reside does have its good points. For instance: the weather is always a pleasant 50,000 degrees and, with no shortage of refineries spewing toxins into the...

Sir Terry Pratchett is going to die. Or rather, the friendly staff of Switzerland’s Dignitas clinic is going to politely assist him to death. This is a deeply personal decision on the part of Sir Pratchett and I really have no business commenting on it. But I’m going to, anyway. Probably because I’m a tactless American. Part of me (the smaller part) wants to applaud him for taking the reins on his life to determine...

If you’re not from Texas, you probably won’t understand Texas. But one thing you can understand about Texas is that it is a strange and silly place, not entirely unlike Camelot. Except without all the singing. Here in Texas, we have a governor. His name is Rick Perry. He has great hair. And that’s about all I can say about him, according to the international rules of motherly advice of the ‘if you can’t say...

He came home from work like he did every night, tired and hungry and late. His children were already asleep in their beds when he creaked open the doors of their rooms to check on them and blow silent goodnight kisses into the dark. He crept down the hallway to his own room, careful to avoid the squeakiest of the old floorboards. He found his wife there, in bed and asleep, with a book resting on her chest. He smiled and switched off the...

This post is intended for graduating high school seniors and the parents of graduating high school seniors. You know who you are. My Commencement Speech To The Graduating Class Of Whatever-The-Hell-Year-It-Is-When-You-Read-This I will never be your commencement speaker, but if I were your commencement speaker, I would commence to speaking one thing and one thing only: You do not need something to fall back on. If there’s one piece of...