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He came home from work like he did every night, tired and hungry and late. His children were already asleep in their beds when he creaked open the doors of their rooms to check on them and blow silent goodnight kisses into the dark. He crept down the hallway to his own room, careful to avoid the squeakiest of the old floorboards. He found his wife there, in bed and asleep, with a book resting on her chest. He smiled and switched off the...
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I was at a loss for a subject for today’s post until about half an hour ago, after Brittany disclosed her discovery of the vile and regrettable videotaped evidence of my first wedding. She’s been working on cleaning out the accumulated detritus of my office, which has – for the last year or so – been the dumping ground of everything that wouldn’t fit anywhere else in the house. It started with boxes, when my...
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Brittany and I were not married on October 24, 2009, at least so far as Barbara Ann Radnofsky would have us believe. Babs is running for Texas Attorney General on the Democratic ticket, and she’s just announced that Texas banned ALL marriage way back in two thousand and five, when the Lone Star State of Stupid passed a constitutional amendment intended to ban gay marriages. It turns out that there’s a little clause in the...
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The honeymoon is over. I know this not simply because another Monday has dawned over a new week like a searing nuclear blast of fissionable suffering (as Mondays so often do), but because Brittany and I spent Thursday night through Sunday night wrapped in the warm embrace of our official Honeymooning period. During this time, we enjoyed the sights and sounds and all the best that New England has to offer. Or, we took in the rustic pleasures...
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It’s picture pages day here at Coquetting Tarradiddles, and I’ve got a dozen or so wedding photos to share with the quivering horde of my readership. I’ll (try and fail to) go light on the prose and heavy on the visual aids today, so let’s get started. For the less net-savvy amongst you, remember that you can click on any picture for a larger version. The first photo up for viewing was taken after the ceremony,...
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Kristian Bland
Writer
Occasional Geek
I'm a former Webmaster turned Journalist turned Systems Administrator. I once thought I could recreate Spider-Man's web fluid, but only ended up staining the driveway of my friend's parents when some of it spilled out and went runny. Eventually, I became a caustic tech geek, which I'm pretty sure inspired the character of Dr. Gregory House, although the bastards never credited me. Later in life, I'd go on to have a horrific experience in publishing that I don't talk about, except to talk about how I don't talk about it. Later still, I became a web editor and columnist for a Hearst newspaper, where I excelled at being Me until my entire department was unceremoniously laid off. After that, I spent about six months being pretty busy not being busy. It sucked. Then, after missing the light of my radiant glory casting its warmth upon the newsroom for long enough, the paper called me up and asked me back. So I went back. And then I left again. And here we are.
