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Well, the Great Exodus From Texadus is over and we are back from the magic of Walt Disney World, left to wallow in our misery and warm gulf coast air. You know you’re almost back in Texas when you pass into the hideous stain of Louisiana, traveling west along Interstate 10. The smell of refineries begins to permeate the air and the odious stench passes into your soul through your nostrils, even as it concurrently settles on your body...
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It’s only September, and all around me people are already sneezing and sniffling and coughing. The piggy flu is the latest terror sweeping through the homes and upper respiratory tracts of young and old alike, and it has recently huffed and puffed and blown my sister’s house down. So far, three out of five members of her household have succumbed to the siren’s oink of H1N1 (so renamed by the media at the behest of the pork...
Read More-by Brittany For most of my adult life I’ve learned that I have to be self sufficient. I can’t rely on anyone to come riding to my rescue on some pristine white charger to fix this, or solve that. There is no one to handle things for me. So in the past I’ve rolled up my sleeves, googled my desired information, or taken out my debit card, whatever the situation called for. When I was living with my ex and something broke...
Read MoreOur oven stopped working one day, quite unceremoniously and without fanfare. It simply stopped getting hot. I’ve been meaning to call someone to come fix it for ages now, but for one reason or another, I never got around to it. In a few brief bursts of ignorant enthusiasm, I tried to fix it myself. However, since I’ve been neither trained nor tested in the delicate art of natural gas oven repair, I never met with much success. I...
Read MoreLast night was an important night. A watershed moment in my life’s story. A hero’s journey. Monumental. Epic. You see, last night I became something greater than myself through the transformative power of the toddler mind. At the start of the evening, I was nothing more than I was the day before, or the day before that. However, by the end of it – by the time the sun slipped beneath the horizon and the moon shone bright in...
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Kristian Bland
Writer
Occasional Geek
I'm a former Webmaster turned Journalist turned Systems Administrator. I once thought I could recreate Spider-Man's web fluid, but only ended up staining the driveway of my friend's parents when some of it spilled out and went runny. Eventually, I became a caustic tech geek, which I'm pretty sure inspired the character of Dr. Gregory House, although the bastards never credited me. Later in life, I'd go on to have a horrific experience in publishing that I don't talk about, except to talk about how I don't talk about it. Later still, I became a web editor and columnist for a Hearst newspaper, where I excelled at being Me until my entire department was unceremoniously laid off. After that, I spent about six months being pretty busy not being busy. It sucked. Then, after missing the light of my radiant glory casting its warmth upon the newsroom for long enough, the paper called me up and asked me back. So I went back. And then I left again. And here we are.
