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It’s officially Wedding Week. The ceremony is in four days, I’m overly busy, overly stressed and murderous impulses have begun pulsing through my body with every systolic beat of my filthy black heart. Maybe it’s the stress, but my tolerance levels for stupidity and inanity have dropped dramatically. I’m not quite to the literal (ie, not figurative) biting off of heads stage just yet, but I’m getting there....
Read MoreI no doubt sometimes come across as a sexist pig in these little essays, but I’m actually a feminist at heart. I’m just also proud of my gender, insomuch as I can be, considering how deeply stupid and neolithic the average male is, at times. (Ok, so mostly I’m proud of a theoretical male gender, that could exist, if only it would.) I freely admit that my earlier entries were openly misogynistic, but I was going through...
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Today, I write my grand and final opus in my ongoing crusade against the great tyranny of our time. Well, maybe it won’t be quite so grandiose as I want it to be, and it sure as Hell won’t be my final word on the subject, but if I’m lucky, I might just begin to chip away the smallest microscopic grains of sand and dirt and mud that make up my ever-growing monument to despair. And, if I’m really lucky, I might just...
Read MoreI planned on using today’s entry to explain why you should care who Harlan Ellison is. However, since Brittany has (accurately) accused me of repeatedly hijacking her days, I think I’ll save your education for tomorrow. It’s probably for the best anyway, because this way I’ll be able to comment on the Dreams With Sharp Teeth DVD that I mentioned yesterday without having to hamburglar her space for today’s...
Read MoreSome days, I don’t know why I keep at this blog, sometimes pecking out ideas in a futile attempt to communicate, and other times assaulting my innocent keyboard with vicious, violent strikes at its delicate plastic keys, struggling to open a vein and pour a little blood into the transient, meaningless electronic world of the Internet. Today is one of the sanguine days, and I find myself doubting my commitment to continue giving a damn...
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Kristian Bland
Writer
Occasional Geek
I'm a former Webmaster turned Journalist turned Systems Administrator. I once thought I could recreate Spider-Man's web fluid, but only ended up staining the driveway of my friend's parents when some of it spilled out and went runny. Eventually, I became a caustic tech geek, which I'm pretty sure inspired the character of Dr. Gregory House, although the bastards never credited me. Later in life, I'd go on to have a horrific experience in publishing that I don't talk about, except to talk about how I don't talk about it. Later still, I became a web editor and columnist for a Hearst newspaper, where I excelled at being Me until my entire department was unceremoniously laid off. After that, I spent about six months being pretty busy not being busy. It sucked. Then, after missing the light of my radiant glory casting its warmth upon the newsroom for long enough, the paper called me up and asked me back. So I went back. And then I left again. And here we are.
