Purple Is The New Red. And Blue.

I have a love/hate relationship with zealotry. On the one hand, watching fist-shaking hardliners trying to resolve cognitive dissonance by flopping about like a spilled bowl of goldfish is funny as hell. On the other hand, the world wouldn’t be in quite so miserable a state if people would just stop clinging to blocky, ill-defined ideologies handed down to them through the talking head punditry of an ever-devolving media. I despise both left-wingers and right-wingers alike, and for the same reason: choosing sides is stupid. The world isn’t cut and divided into equal parts Conservative or Liberal, and all of the issues facing a nation can’t be contained within the bullshit, ticky-tacky structures of either party. Joining the card-carrying and waterheaded ranks of either the Democrats or the Republicans simply dissolves critical thought and excuses mindless adoption of whatever mushbrained, poorly conceived policies either side may be peddling at any given time. As with sports, party loyalty has nothing to do with the players on the field, or the outcome of the game. All it does is provide a sense of belonging for the non-participants, by dividing them into two groups, each united together out of a mutual hatred for the other side. And, all the while, the game plays on without them. If devotees of either side would just stop cheering and jeering for half a second, they...

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