So you want to send me money for no particular reason at all? What’s wrong with you?! Also…
You’re probably a terrible manager of finances, but whatever. You’re still awesome! Also, just so you’re not giving me money for nothing and my chicks for free or anything, I’ll send you an eBook version of my Supernatural (because I suck at titles) horror story, if you want it. Just make sure to let me know, otherwise it’ll never make its way to your inbox because I’m awful.
If you have a PayPal account, just click this link to be instantly whisked away on the gossamer wings of digital angels, who will pamper your every desire on your journey to my PayPal.me page. (Or, if you don’t have a PayPal account because you’re from the past and just dialed into AOL for the first time or whatever, click this link. It still uses PayPal, but you can pay with whatever method you want and don’t need an account.) Once there, just enter whatever amount of cold, hard cash you’d like to send my way and thereby gain priority seating whenever you get to whichever version of the afterlife you may or may not believe in that you find most favorable, and Bob’s your uncle. Whatever that means. I’m not British.
If you really want to send me money but have some strange aversion to sending money through secure digital services, then you can always just send an email to email@example.com. I’m sure we can arrange to meet under the third street light after the fourth left turn when you pass the 32nd maple tree on some undisclosed roadway or something. You know, for safety.