Send me money

So you want to send me money for no particular reason at all? What’s wrong with you?! Also…

CONGRATULATIONS!
You’re awesome.

You’re probably a terrible manager of finances, but whatever. You’re still awesome! Then again, maybe you read one of my books for free somewhere on the sketchier side of the internet and are feeling a little guilty about it. Don’t worry! I’m here to absolve you. Just send me whatever you think whatever you read was worth, and we’ll call it square.

If you have a PayPal account, just click this link to be instantly whisked away on the gossamer wings of digital angels, who will pamper your every desire on your journey to my PayPal.me page. (Or, if you don’t have a PayPal account because you’re from the past and just dialed into AOL for the first time or whatever, click this link. It still uses PayPal, but you can pay with whatever method you want and don’t need an account.) Once there, just enter whatever amount of cold, hard cash you’d like to send my way and thereby gain priority seating whenever you get to whichever version of the afterlife you may or may not believe in that you find most favorable, and Bob’s your uncle. Whatever that means. I dunno. I’m not British.

If you really want to send me money but have some strange aversion to sending money through secure digital services, then you can always just send an email to kbland@coqdiddles.com. I’m sure we can arrange to meet under the third street light after the fourth left turn when you pass the 32nd maple tree on some undisclosed roadway or something. You know, for safety.






Want some books? 'Course ya do!


NOTE:  I know times are hard and yeah, I need to make a living too, but if you want to read any of my books but can't afford to buy them right now, hit me up.

I'll take care of it.


Humor | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

Have you ever lived through an experience that was so humiliating that you wanted to die, but when you tell it to all your friends, they can't stop laughing?

Have you ever made a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time, but you're still living with the hilarious consequences years later?

If so, then grab a snack, get comfortable, and prepare to have all of your own poor life choices seem just a little bit more bearable.

You're welcome.

Short Stories
Available now from the following retailers

The nine stories of rage and sadness collected here range from the most intimate of human experiences to the wildest realms of magic and fantasy. The first story is a violent gut-punch to the soul, and the rest of them just hit harder from there.

Those who tough it out will find a book filled with as much hope as despair, a constant contradiction pulling you from one extreme to another.

Life might knock us down, over and over, and will the beat the ever-loving snot out of us from the time we're old enough to give it attitude until the day we finally let it win and stop getting up.

Always get back up.

Gaming | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

This isn't just a book. It's a portal to other worlds where there be magic and dragons and hilarious pirates. Okay, not really. But this book is about those portals, except they're called video games.

The Life Bytes series of books take a deep dive into one man's personal journey through childhood into kinda/sorta being a responsible, competent adult as told through the magical lens of whatever video games he was playing at the time.

Part One starts way back in 1975 and meanders down various digital pathways until, oh, around about 1993 or so.

If you're feeling nostalgic for the early days of gaming or if you just want to understand why the gamer in your life loves this hobby so much, take a seat in your favorite comfy chair and crack this bad boy open.

I'll try to not be boring.

Horror
Available now from the following retailers

What you are about to read is not a story. There is no beginning, middle, or end.

What follows is nothing more than a series of journal entries involving shadow people, sleep paralysis, and crippling fear. It’s not pretty, it doesn’t follow story logic, and nothing works out well in the end.

You've been warned.