Get a dictionary. Look it up.
Welcome to Chapter Two of Life Bytes. I’m not entirely sure why I’m calling these things chapters when they’re really just a series of blog entries, but I am. So deal with it. Anyway, continuing with the ‘if this was all a novel’ theme, click here for the back-of-the-book description of what this particular bit of insanity is about, or skip ahead and click here to jump straight into Chapter One. The choice,...
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He came home from work like he did every night, tired and hungry and late. His children were already asleep in their beds when he creaked open the doors of their rooms to check on them and blow silent goodnight kisses into the dark. He crept down the hallway to his own room, careful to avoid the squeakiest of the old floorboards. He found his wife there, in bed and asleep, with a book resting on her chest. He smiled and switched off the...
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Today is Monday. It is also Valentine’s Day, which means the universe either really hates or totally adores single people. I’m undecided, but I’m pretty sure I’m off the hook, either way. Married people celebrate Valentine’s Day differently than other Facebook relationship statuses. We don’t go in for all the lovey-dovey stuff, choosing instead to quietly affirm our affections in private, more intimate...
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I think it’s time we talk about the Christmas Problem. Or, more to a point, it’s time that I talk and you listen. And agree, unless you’re a hypocrite – in which case you can just go right on and have yourself a merry little bowl of shut the hell up. I’m going to skip through the usual Christmas hate, bypassing altogether the hand-wringing over the commercialism, the wanton spending and strange disconnect from...
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Today marks the annual parade of the twin forces of Annoyance and Distrust as they come marching through the streets and avenues that connect our lives. It is April 1st – April Fool’s Day, and I’m not over-exaggerating when I say, “Don’t Trust Anyone.” Certainly, don’t trust anything you read on the Internet today. The web has a long and messy history of April Fool’s jokes and with gags...
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Kristian Bland
Writer
Occasional Geek
I'm a former Webmaster turned Journalist turned Systems Administrator. I once thought I could recreate Spider-Man's web fluid, but only ended up staining the driveway of my friend's parents when some of it spilled out and went runny. Eventually, I became a caustic tech geek, which I'm pretty sure inspired the character of Dr. Gregory House, although the bastards never credited me. Later in life, I'd go on to have a horrific experience in publishing that I don't talk about, except to talk about how I don't talk about it. Later still, I became a web editor and columnist for a Hearst newspaper, where I excelled at being Me until my entire department was unceremoniously laid off. After that, I spent about six months being pretty busy not being busy. It sucked. Then, after missing the light of my radiant glory casting its warmth upon the newsroom for long enough, the paper called me up and asked me back. So I went back. And then I left again. And here we are.
