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It’s not easy being a Texan when the rest of the civilized world ranks your state’s politics somewhere between corporate prostitution and eating babies, but it’s home. And I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, though. The area of the Lone Star State in which I unhappily reside does have its good points. For instance: the weather is always a pleasant 50,000 degrees and, with no shortage of refineries spewing toxins into the...
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If you’re not from Texas, you probably won’t understand Texas. But one thing you can understand about Texas is that it is a strange and silly place, not entirely unlike Camelot. Except without all the singing. Here in Texas, we have a governor. His name is Rick Perry. He has great hair. And that’s about all I can say about him, according to the international rules of motherly advice of the ‘if you can’t say...
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The Emperor’s New Clothes: a pompous dictator rules over sycophantic bootlickers and gets tricked into buying a suit that is supposedly invisible to those who are unqualified or hopelessly stupid. In Beaumont, TX, we have our own version of this emperor, and he’s running around in the metaphorical nude like a wild cowboy. His name is Dr. Carrol A. Thomas or, as I prefer to think of him, Buck Nekkid: Texas Ranger.… …...
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It’s been a little over two years since I nestled into a cozy little corner of the Internet to start up this oddly named and angry little blog, and most of the time has gone by in a flash. The beginning was rough, as beginnings often are, but with a little time and a whole lot of living, I eventually managed to ratchet down the fury and find a simpler pace. Of course, it didn’t hurt that I fell in love and started a family...
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For whatever weird and unknowable reason that is behind the unseen intellect of the universe, the great unknown consciousness rarely leaves me wanting for reminders of just how much I hate certain things. This weekend, for example, I paid a visit to some relatives who recently moved to a suburb nestled between the indescribable horror of laissez-faire corruption known as the Houston area, and the Margaritaville-meets-Gin and Juice, laid...
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Kristian Bland
Writer
Occasional Geek
I'm a former Webmaster turned Journalist turned Systems Administrator. I once thought I could recreate Spider-Man's web fluid, but only ended up staining the driveway of my friend's parents when some of it spilled out and went runny. Eventually, I became a caustic tech geek, which I'm pretty sure inspired the character of Dr. Gregory House, although the bastards never credited me. Later in life, I'd go on to have a horrific experience in publishing that I don't talk about, except to talk about how I don't talk about it. Later still, I became a web editor and columnist for a Hearst newspaper, where I excelled at being Me until my entire department was unceremoniously laid off. After that, I spent about six months being pretty busy not being busy. It sucked. Then, after missing the light of my radiant glory casting its warmth upon the newsroom for long enough, the paper called me up and asked me back. So I went back. And then I left again. And here we are.
